Political Mama

My latest story is up on a great online literary magazine called, Storyglossia! There are a bunch of great stories up, and I feel privileged to be among them. Or you can go directly to my story, A Tree in Winter.

This story has very little to do with my life. Yet some of my friends and family are still calling me to see if my father-in-law is okay, which believe me, he is. Or I can hear in their voices their concern about my marriage, which continues to be great.

Why do some people have such a hard time believing that I would make things up? The truth is that I don't find my own life interesting enough to write about. Except here, of course ;).

I realize that it's been months since I've last written here, and it's not only that I don't have any time, but I also wonder if I have anything to say...

I mean, I have a lot to say, a lot is going on, the world is spinning ever onward, but does anyone really need my commentary?

Which leads me to ask myself why I think every entry need be profound. Is profundity overrated?

So here are snippets, purposely superficial:

My kids are wonderful and cute, and growing both too quickly and never quickly enough ;).

I've just finished my second first novel, which has garnered interest. Very exciting, but it won't mean anything until it means something.

I gave to my favorite charities this morning. They are: Doctors without Borders and my new FAVORITE, a group of people that connect loans to people in poor countries, called Kiva. It's a mistake to call it a charity even. You make loans to actual people in whatever increments you like, as low as $25. These loans go directly to people trying to set up/expand business in Africa, or the former Soviet Union, South America, and many other places. And they are loans. They say their repayment rate is 100%. You can roll it over into new charities or take it back. It's really a great organization.

I'd forgotten how fun blogging can be. See ya soon! Oh, and Merry Christmas to all of you, my sons fondly refer to as the "Christmas People." Happy Chanukah too!

Well, he's there. He loves it. Loves the kids and the teacher and the bus most of all. What is it about that big yellow thing that's so inviting?

But I digress. He's doing well but I'm a mess. There is so much to remember, so much to keep track of, that I'm clearly losing my mind.

Everyday is a new fundraiser, which pisses me off because I pay over $9,000 in taxes. What more do you want from me?

And seriously, at five-years-old, who do you think is going to go around selling stuff to neighbors who already have piles of crap to buy themselves? The first thing I got was a Christmas catalog anyway. Don't even get me started on that!

So far, I have failed to get in touch with the teacher, using two separate notes. I've forgotten the damned book sale.

Fortunately, a kindly neighbor through him a five to buy a book.

He's writing his first and last name three times in a notebook every night, which takes close to a half hour. Which leads me to my final failure--Jeremy Shaffar is the longest name in history, and very difficult for my five-year-old to fit on two lines in a notebook. Had I known when he was born, I would certainly have kept it shorter!

I don't remember college being this difficult, so I can only hope that it gets better, or that he turns out to be more organized than me.

I spent all day crying. Everyone I know in NY did. It's amazing how immediate it still feels, and I wonder if it will always be that way. I also wonder how much different it is for the rest of the country.

Every year since, I've watched the reading of the names. How can it be that when I take the boys to school around 9, they're still reading when I finish lunch?

For the last few weeks, I've avoided coverage because I just can't do it for weeks. Today is my day to remember, and I did.

I listened, via satellite to Howard Stern's replay of his broadcast from that day. Of course I hadn't heard it then, because I was riveted to my television and my three-month-old who smiled all that day, while I watched the world crumble. What I got from it was the shock and confusion of those first few hours, when nothing made sense. I forgot that I was worried for my own life that day.

I know of several people who died, but none personally. I feel lucky and guilty about it in equal measure.

Five years later, I just suffer for a day. The widows, the children, the parents, the friends, the coworkers have suffered for five years. Our heart is with you.

I'm painfully shy. People who know me think that's hard to believe, but I've met you, I'm not shy at all. In fact people think I'm an extrovert. But that's once they've met me, or if they've met me in a setting where I feel confident. I can't seem to cross that line very easily.

It's the meeting people that causes me palpitations. I feel immediately inadequate and self-conscious. I've talked to my shrink about it. I'm working on it.

My real problem is that since the world has expanded exponentially with the advent of "online," I'm finding myself more likely to want to be by myself.

I'm a writer, and I don't want to network. I enjoy reading postings, but I rarely comment. I just can't. I worry that I will never be published, or ever feel good enough to become a "part" of things.

A writer person I know, Ellen Meister is a master of this. Her new book, Secret Confessions of the Applewood PTA is coming out in the beginning of August. From the other things of her's I've read, I'm sure I'm going to love it!

For the time being I can only sit back and hope that I measure up somehow, both as a writer and a networking genius! I'm jealous as heck, but really happy to know her, and hope that some of that mojo will rub of on me.

First, and most importantly, my best friend has gotten engaged! I'm thrilled for her. She's waited a long time for this, and I know she will enjoy.

Second, after babysitting for my friend's six-week-old, I am more comfortable than ever with my decision to stop at two.

Secondly, even though my husband's job has made me a figurative single mother (he's never home anymore), part of his benefits include FREE ADMISSION to all the New York City museums and major City attractions! I must say, it's almost worth it.

Now I'm compiling lists of where to take the kids. We've already been to the Museum of Natural History. I think our next stop should be the Bronx Zoo, or the Botanic Gardens, or the... or... wow the list is endless!

If only I could get him to stop working long enough to go.