Monday, September 11, 2006
Fifth Anniversary
I spent all day crying. Everyone I know in NY did. It's amazing how immediate it still feels, and I wonder if it will always be that way. I also wonder how much different it is for the rest of the country.
Every year since, I've watched the reading of the names. How can it be that when I take the boys to school around 9, they're still reading when I finish lunch?
For the last few weeks, I've avoided coverage because I just can't do it for weeks. Today is my day to remember, and I did.
I listened, via satellite to Howard Stern's replay of his broadcast from that day. Of course I hadn't heard it then, because I was riveted to my television and my three-month-old who smiled all that day, while I watched the world crumble. What I got from it was the shock and confusion of those first few hours, when nothing made sense. I forgot that I was worried for my own life that day.
I know of several people who died, but none personally. I feel lucky and guilty about it in equal measure.
Five years later, I just suffer for a day. The widows, the children, the parents, the friends, the coworkers have suffered for five years. Our heart is with you.
Every year since, I've watched the reading of the names. How can it be that when I take the boys to school around 9, they're still reading when I finish lunch?
For the last few weeks, I've avoided coverage because I just can't do it for weeks. Today is my day to remember, and I did.
I listened, via satellite to Howard Stern's replay of his broadcast from that day. Of course I hadn't heard it then, because I was riveted to my television and my three-month-old who smiled all that day, while I watched the world crumble. What I got from it was the shock and confusion of those first few hours, when nothing made sense. I forgot that I was worried for my own life that day.
I know of several people who died, but none personally. I feel lucky and guilty about it in equal measure.
Five years later, I just suffer for a day. The widows, the children, the parents, the friends, the coworkers have suffered for five years. Our heart is with you.
