Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Too Big a World
I'm painfully shy. People who know me think that's hard to believe, but I've met you, I'm not shy at all. In fact people think I'm an extrovert. But that's once they've met me, or if they've met me in a setting where I feel confident. I can't seem to cross that line very easily.
It's the meeting people that causes me palpitations. I feel immediately inadequate and self-conscious. I've talked to my shrink about it. I'm working on it.
My real problem is that since the world has expanded exponentially with the advent of "online," I'm finding myself more likely to want to be by myself.
I'm a writer, and I don't want to network. I enjoy reading postings, but I rarely comment. I just can't. I worry that I will never be published, or ever feel good enough to become a "part" of things.
A writer person I know, Ellen Meister is a master of this. Her new book, Secret Confessions of the Applewood PTA is coming out in the beginning of August. From the other things of her's I've read, I'm sure I'm going to love it!
For the time being I can only sit back and hope that I measure up somehow, both as a writer and a networking genius! I'm jealous as heck, but really happy to know her, and hope that some of that mojo will rub of on me.
It's the meeting people that causes me palpitations. I feel immediately inadequate and self-conscious. I've talked to my shrink about it. I'm working on it.
My real problem is that since the world has expanded exponentially with the advent of "online," I'm finding myself more likely to want to be by myself.
I'm a writer, and I don't want to network. I enjoy reading postings, but I rarely comment. I just can't. I worry that I will never be published, or ever feel good enough to become a "part" of things.
A writer person I know, Ellen Meister is a master of this. Her new book, Secret Confessions of the Applewood PTA is coming out in the beginning of August. From the other things of her's I've read, I'm sure I'm going to love it!
For the time being I can only sit back and hope that I measure up somehow, both as a writer and a networking genius! I'm jealous as heck, but really happy to know her, and hope that some of that mojo will rub of on me.
