Saturday, August 13, 2005
Democratic Dictator
You, too can be a democratically elected dictator!
1. You advertise, fundraise, advertise, fundraise.
2. You invoke the name of God. A lot. You invoke in secret language and publicly. You invoke it often, after all it's important that you imbue yourself with authority and righteousness at every moment.
3. You enlist only people you trust in this fight, i. e., only people that can benefit from your regime.
4. You take people's innate fear of the unknown and you use it, you twist it, you make it an engine for war which will keep them fearful, and in turn coming back for more. Like a drug dealer who sees that your hooked, and kills your former supplier (which here is the war on drugs).
5. You talk about ground swell (both sides do this actually).
6. If you are Bush, you stage events all over the country where people are cheering in decidely Third Reich feeling ways. Always pre-screened and pro-you.
7. You do not talk to anyone who doesn't agree with you. Including people who have lost children in your war. (Side note: Sister Cindy Sheehan, I am with you!) A war mind you, that you wouldn't consider fighting in yourself, or sending your children into. (Another side note: In case Czar Bush is asking my advice, talk to the woman. Though I admire and admit that I was surprised that you sent your aids last week, it ain't enough. She's not going away. Say a prayer, show her around the ranch.
8. You repeat your righteous bullshit over and over again. Where there is dissent, send out your hatchet men, far and wide, over hill and dale, and REPEAT REPEAT REPEAT!
Follow all these steps, and you too can become the Democratically-elected Dictator of the United States. At least that's how Herr Hitler did it.
Fear not my fellow Americans people eventually catch on, and decide on someone else at the end of our collective nightmare in 2004 (well that's what I thought would happen), I mean 2008!
1. You advertise, fundraise, advertise, fundraise.
2. You invoke the name of God. A lot. You invoke in secret language and publicly. You invoke it often, after all it's important that you imbue yourself with authority and righteousness at every moment.
3. You enlist only people you trust in this fight, i. e., only people that can benefit from your regime.
4. You take people's innate fear of the unknown and you use it, you twist it, you make it an engine for war which will keep them fearful, and in turn coming back for more. Like a drug dealer who sees that your hooked, and kills your former supplier (which here is the war on drugs).
5. You talk about ground swell (both sides do this actually).
6. If you are Bush, you stage events all over the country where people are cheering in decidely Third Reich feeling ways. Always pre-screened and pro-you.
7. You do not talk to anyone who doesn't agree with you. Including people who have lost children in your war. (Side note: Sister Cindy Sheehan, I am with you!) A war mind you, that you wouldn't consider fighting in yourself, or sending your children into. (Another side note: In case Czar Bush is asking my advice, talk to the woman. Though I admire and admit that I was surprised that you sent your aids last week, it ain't enough. She's not going away. Say a prayer, show her around the ranch.
8. You repeat your righteous bullshit over and over again. Where there is dissent, send out your hatchet men, far and wide, over hill and dale, and REPEAT REPEAT REPEAT!
Follow all these steps, and you too can become the Democratically-elected Dictator of the United States. At least that's how Herr Hitler did it.
Fear not my fellow Americans people eventually catch on, and decide on someone else at the end of our collective nightmare in 2004 (well that's what I thought would happen), I mean 2008!
